Hey, I’m writing today!

OK, so Laura says to start with wins. I wonder what wins I should start with? Scale wins? OK, I guess I will do scale wins first today.

Since I’m experiencing the most turbulent part of my lunar cycle, I had a much higher weight yesterday when I was on the scale. I am looking very much forward to feeling like the scale isn’t my enemy, so it’s really nice to have an astronomically high vantage point from which to float into the beginning of the Naturally Thin for Life program. HAHA! That is to say, I weighed 187 pounds early yesterday, and 184 later in the day, and then today I was 182 when I got to the scale. But the best part of weighing myself wasn’t really the weight, it was just knowing that the scale reflected the feeling that my clothes were more comfortable. I cared more about how comfortable I was than about how I looked in the mirror for now and more than I cared about how high the number on the scale was. I don’t know if I would want to plummet below 180 right now, although that is where I was hovering before my period, and I was planning on this five-pound cycle ending at 175 pounds. However, in weighing myself, I’ve discovered some inconsistencies in how the scale measures based on my placement on the scale. The best part was putting on a new polka dot skirt that I got at goodwill last week, and just enjoying how it fit. It’s a lot looser than it was last week, so the waistband doesn’t itch as it pulls against my skin. I appreciate that.

I asked for coaching advice on yesterday’s call, since it was the first call and no one seemed to be waiting in the wings to get coaching right at first. I didn’t want Laura to feel alone because she kept repeating herself. I felt like she was kind of hankering for someone to talk about, although she was ready to give a presentation. I think next time I will encourage her by saying that I am looking forward to the presentation, because I don’t want anyone else to be intimidated by my courage and inhibited from making their own progress. I will make progress, and I will use my courage, but I don’t need to use it every day.

How I’m doing using my buckets: I am working on noticing hunger before meals. I wasn’t hungry this morning until noon, or twelve thirty, but I did stick to my bucket and I did wait for the feeling. I think this is because I went a little over on my satisfaction buckets before bed last night. I was still processing a lot of pizza, and it was really annoying waiting for the pizza to get out of my system so that I could try my buckets again.

I was just starting a video for self-coaching and I just felt this wave of gratitude that I get to work with Laura. It feels so good to get to be with someone who values full emotional processing, so that I can value an emotion as a tool that God has given me to express His holiness for my talents. I get to use my emotions to rest in Him and turn my focus from food to the problems in my life that God wants to spend time with me, fixing, because she’s teaching me how not to let that feel scary. She really appreciates the fear. It reminds me that the Holy spirit is our comforter, and how Jesus said that it was necessary that he be gone so that the comforter could come, and then we could really live out the holiness of God with the Kingdom of Heaven as our fuel. Those are totally not the words in the Bible, they are just how I am feeling about the words in the bible.

Just read John 16-18. Fun reminder of why the Holy spirit is there for us- He is there for our unity with Christ and as a demonstration of what it means to be with the Father when we feel alone in the world around other Christians. U

Ugh, I didn’t write as much as I wanted to!

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