I was going to write on self compassion today. Brenê Brown says that it isn’t self pity. I watch out for self pity, because my mom had a prayer moment where God talked to her about inappropriate self pity. So self pity scares me a little. Is there anything in the Bible about self-pity? I’m not sure if I’ve ever googled that before (real scientific research here, folks…) so maybe…
Eh, it’s all prophetic people, who are isolated and live shocking experiences you don’t have the right to judge… and there isn’t much about self-pity. Not enough to start a doctrine. Only a sweet picture of a nurturing father God guiding multiple Israelites (Elijah, Job, Jonah), mostly prophetic people who are isolated weirdos and already struggling, out of a warped view of justice. And I don’t see the Bible criticizing it. NEVERTHELESS, it remains a huge point of shaming and gossip in the church when someone feels too badly about things that happen to them….
But I looked up the difference between self-pity and self-compassion, I got really frustrated. It said that the main difference is that people with self-pity see only their own troubles, and people with self-compassion see their troubles as well as those of others. Sounds noble and community and love based.
But cue the guilt horn, I am struggling right now in the middle of quarantine. I don’t trust the numbers coming out of china. I doubt that social distancing is the cure for the judgement of God, and I doubt that it will bring the needed relief. I believe it will be full of sadness.
Is it worth having compassion for myself for how “hard” it is to be a special needs mom? When people say that I need to have compassion on myself for that, but they don’t know what it’s like… I feel like they’re glamorizing my prowess as a mother unnecessarily. And yet, as soon as I feel sad, and express the sadness, it comes in deep waves of grief that are hard to explain and hard for others to process.
Now, there’s a crisis of compassion, because people are so isolated in their homes, amplifying either their griefs or their joys. I am experiencing a mix of both, but I crave the Joy.
But God– thank you for warning me. Thank you, thank you. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, and we bless Him.